October 27, 2008
Dear Friend,
Have I ever told you how beautiful the nightlife is? It would be impossible, but I’ll try. Every light in the entire city is glowing. Couples walk and hold hands, as musicians play their sweet songs. Horse drawn carriages parade about the street, inviting lovers for a ride through the town. You see every kind of people; clubbers, diners, beggars, and so many more. The lights wrapped on the light posts illuminate the sidewalks and make you feel as if you’re walking on Dorothy’s yellow brick road. Life embraces you with each step you take. And if ever you get the feeling the night may be coming to an end, look around the corner, because the city never sleeps.
My “glory days” have yet to come. I am positive though that the first time I deliver a baby, these days will begin. I can imagine myself in the delivery room; my hands are just about to embrace life as mom pushes harder and harder each time. I can hear myself saying, “That’s it, almost there. Just a few more really good pushes.” It’s going to be awesome. I get excited just holding babies. To actually be the one who brings the little guy into the world would be such an honor. And not just the first time, but for every time I deliver a baby.
I’m always surprised when my mom and I begin Christmas shopping at the end of summer and still find ourselves doing last minute shopping two days before Christmas Day. It’s like no matter how far in advanced you start, there is still more shopping to do. During Christmas, my family likes to open presents from each other on Christmas Eve, and then stockings and presents from “Santa” on Christmas morning. This year is going to be a little different. You see my family is moving to Germany on Wednesday and its going to be just me and my Oma, my grandma, this year. I’m sure I’ll have fun with her, but it’s definitely going to be a change from what I’m used to. In past years, my Opa, my grandpa, used to come for every Christmas and stay through half of February. He passed away a little over a year ago. Missing him from our family put a damper on Christmas last year. I can still picture him sitting on the couch until my mom would call him to come cut the ham. He used to be a chef, and for every time we had a huge dinner, he was in charge of the meat. He used to complain to me about how I would ruin my meat by cooking it longer. I can’t stand the sight of blood, but for him, the bloodier it was the better. I miss him and I’m going to miss my family too.
Love always,
Brover
Monday, October 27, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
October 6
October 6, 2008
Dear Friend,
It has been a while since we last spoke. My life has been pretty hectic lately. As you already know my family is moving to Germany, and it’s only two weeks before they leave. I know, hard to believe, right?! It’s slowly starting to hit me, the reality of it all, I mean. I got strep throat this weekend, and it was weird because when I went to call my mom, I started crying. It freaked me out to think that she’s leaving. Not that her moving is worse than you losing your mom completely, but I think I am starting to grasp the feeling of not having a mom. She really does do everything for me, which makes it that much harder to get used to living in the real world. Yeah, I know growing up will make dealing with situations like this easier, but not having a mom within reach can really make a person feel insecure, especially a daughter.
There was this one time when my mom was going through a rough patch. Apparently she had the Human Papilloma Virus, and thought it was best not to tell me and my brother. What the hell?!! Knowing that something is wrong with a loved one can really drive a person insane. She was moody all the time, and would jump on me for every little thing. I couldn’t win. Everything was an argument. It felt like there was always tension and we couldn’t be around each other. After her surgery, she calmed down, and started to act like her old self. During that time, it took me a while to understand why she hadn’t told me. It was upsetting at first to think that my mom couldn’t trust me. But it wasn’t that she couldn’t trust me, it was that she didn’t want me to have to deal with it. It was hard enough for her to hear the news, and she knew I couldn’t handle stress very well. So, I figured she was “protecting” me. I learned a lot from that experience. I learned that it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to be aware. And though a person may say nothing is wrong, make sure to always have one eye open, because it could be a lot more than nothing going on.
Now that I think about it, this same sort of situation happened between me and you. I could tell something was definitely wrong with you back in April. You would get into this mood where you would disconnect yourself from the world. Every time Emi or I would ask what was wrong, all we ever got out of you was a, “don’t worry about it, I’m fine”. But you weren’t fine. You were depressed and lonely. And I think you didn’t tell us because like my mom you didn’t want us to have to deal with it. I know you’re the type of person that tries to please everyone before yourself, and I admire that about you. From you, I learned never to ignore the signs. Like my dad always tells me, “If it feels wrong, then it probably is wrong.”
With all that said, there is one last thing I want to talk to you about. I’m reading this book called “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, and in the book the main character Charlie describes this time when he’s with his new found friends, Sam and Patrick, and how he felt “infinite”. To me infinite is being in a place where no one can touch you. You can run for miles on end and never tire. Like the time we went to Breckenridge. We were on our own for the first time, and we had nothing to do but live it up. I was with my best friends and we had everything going for us. I hope there will be another time like that. And I hope it’s with you and Emi. You guys make me so happy, and to know that I have you makes my family moving away a little easier for me.
Love always,
Brover
Dear Friend,
It has been a while since we last spoke. My life has been pretty hectic lately. As you already know my family is moving to Germany, and it’s only two weeks before they leave. I know, hard to believe, right?! It’s slowly starting to hit me, the reality of it all, I mean. I got strep throat this weekend, and it was weird because when I went to call my mom, I started crying. It freaked me out to think that she’s leaving. Not that her moving is worse than you losing your mom completely, but I think I am starting to grasp the feeling of not having a mom. She really does do everything for me, which makes it that much harder to get used to living in the real world. Yeah, I know growing up will make dealing with situations like this easier, but not having a mom within reach can really make a person feel insecure, especially a daughter.
There was this one time when my mom was going through a rough patch. Apparently she had the Human Papilloma Virus, and thought it was best not to tell me and my brother. What the hell?!! Knowing that something is wrong with a loved one can really drive a person insane. She was moody all the time, and would jump on me for every little thing. I couldn’t win. Everything was an argument. It felt like there was always tension and we couldn’t be around each other. After her surgery, she calmed down, and started to act like her old self. During that time, it took me a while to understand why she hadn’t told me. It was upsetting at first to think that my mom couldn’t trust me. But it wasn’t that she couldn’t trust me, it was that she didn’t want me to have to deal with it. It was hard enough for her to hear the news, and she knew I couldn’t handle stress very well. So, I figured she was “protecting” me. I learned a lot from that experience. I learned that it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to be aware. And though a person may say nothing is wrong, make sure to always have one eye open, because it could be a lot more than nothing going on.
Now that I think about it, this same sort of situation happened between me and you. I could tell something was definitely wrong with you back in April. You would get into this mood where you would disconnect yourself from the world. Every time Emi or I would ask what was wrong, all we ever got out of you was a, “don’t worry about it, I’m fine”. But you weren’t fine. You were depressed and lonely. And I think you didn’t tell us because like my mom you didn’t want us to have to deal with it. I know you’re the type of person that tries to please everyone before yourself, and I admire that about you. From you, I learned never to ignore the signs. Like my dad always tells me, “If it feels wrong, then it probably is wrong.”
With all that said, there is one last thing I want to talk to you about. I’m reading this book called “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, and in the book the main character Charlie describes this time when he’s with his new found friends, Sam and Patrick, and how he felt “infinite”. To me infinite is being in a place where no one can touch you. You can run for miles on end and never tire. Like the time we went to Breckenridge. We were on our own for the first time, and we had nothing to do but live it up. I was with my best friends and we had everything going for us. I hope there will be another time like that. And I hope it’s with you and Emi. You guys make me so happy, and to know that I have you makes my family moving away a little easier for me.
Love always,
Brover
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